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Hi, Electric Dreamers. I am Bjo Ashwill and am writing a monthly column on my experiences of creating a computer software program that does very detailed analysis of dream narratives. You are welcome to visit my web site and check out DreamSpinner, the software program I will be describing.
http://www.spinner-soft.com. The site was recently revised and is full of exciting interactive things you can do. Check us out!

In this column I shall describe, over time, how to use the computer's power to store, group, analyze and retrieve information from our dreams. DreamSpinner's greatest power is working with long "over time" dream series, although it can work with individual dreams as well. How do metaphor patterns change over time? That is the question that began my journey toward creating DreamSpinner.

This month I decided to see what I could learn from a very subtle difference. To get different patterns from things that are very dissimilar would make sense. But what about closely related items. For no particular reason, I decided to run a word frequency count on the single words "smile" and "grin". They are not only single words as opposed to groups of words in a category, but they are both in the same category of "Non Verbal Expressive Communication" sub category "Facial" With so much in common, how then can they give any different kinds of patterns or insights.

Well, for starters I think I found more clues on finding the "Trickster" archetype in my dreams, some clear messages about my Sexuality and the wonderful beauty of spirituality.

Let's look at the numbers. They will give a general sense or trend. Then we'll dig into the dreams. Out of 1180 linked dreams, only 120 of them had the word "smile" in them. Only 16 had the word "grin " in them. A pretty big difference in my usage of these two words. They seem then not to be interchangeable. Then I realized that some "smile" dreams also had "grins" in them and visa versa. So I created four dream sets to examine. The All Smile and Some Grins set. The All Grins and some smiles set. The Grin only set and the Smile only set. I did a word frequency count for those four dream sets with the following results.

           Smilegrin     GrinSmile     SmileOnly     grinonly

           120 dreams     16 dreams     112 dreams 8 dreams

Urination  .122      1.66      -0.041     -1.369

Brother   .031      1.616    -0.067       1.418

Food-
estblshmnt .478         1.077      .438    .478

People-
conduits  .178      .891 .124         .891

potentiala5.801        -1.491     .801      -1.491

gun parts .719     -1.115     .719      -1.115

fix things .655      -1.349     .655      -1.349

addictions .595         0.595     .595        -.976

Red       .03              .58   -0.055             .721

Density-
positive  .239        .579 .216        1.177

Spiritual .031        .559   0.00         .621

service-
 work     .499           .077      .56          .077

F2 others-
to dreamer .308      .471      .287         .203

dogs      .471      -1.000     .511      -1.000

incon-
gruities  .426        .426 .426         .426

guns      .421      -1.793     .421      -1.793

Failure   .023        .261 .023         .363

Stranger  .111        .258   0.089             .258

Density-
 positive .239      .579 .216        1.177

F2 dreamer-
 to others .229      .118      .229         .072

Female/-
stranger     0              .206      0.023       .154

Female
 general  .032      .206      .032         .151

Aunt      .205      -0.795     .229      -0.795

Monsters  .205      .776      .107      -0.795

Sexuality .035      .164      .035         .193

Just what the heck do all those numbers have to do with a "trickster" archetype you may well grumble.

Let me explain. The numbers you see are called HP factor numbers in statistics, a type of study I usually avoid. It takes the raw numbers of frequencies and converts them into a percentage. I am measuring the base norming set of "All Linked dreams" with the sub dream set. If they measure the same percentage of hits, then the answer is 0. Hence, no statistical difference. Any number represented here in the chart that is over .100 has some statistical relevance. That is because the HP factor takes into consideration the fact that percentages when at the outer edges of the scale have more significance than the percentages in the middle. Therefore, we can use these numbers as a simple way of seeing if there is some differences in patterns within sub dream sets.

As it happens, the "Grin Only" and the "Grin & Smile" dream sets were each 8 dreams long. Making them a viable size to examine within this space.

The first thing I discovered is that I had some high HP numbers in the Grin Only dream set on interesting things like the color "Red", "Spirituality", "Sexuality". These seem to me to be traits of a trickster. Further, "Female/Stranger and Female General were raised as well. Supposedly in the Jung Archetype literature the Shadow figure is often the same sex as the dreamer. All of them were higher in the "Grin Only" dream set. I surmised that the Trickster is being shown to me in dreams where a "grin" occurred, but no body was "smiling".

I also noticed that there was higher incidences of "Service Work", "Guns" "Potential Aggression Level Five (Theft) and "Dogs" in the "Smile Only" dream sets. "Smile Only" dreams tell different stories and point out different lessons than "Grin Only" dreams. Those dreams that have both smiles and grins blend the two and change the shape of the metaphor. I will focus on the Grin metaphor in this column as it is a smaller set and easier to encapsulate.

After examining the dream set numbers and reading the dreams below to confirm, I realized that "smile" is a friendly (generally) facial communication . I actually have 5 different types of smiles defined in DreamSpinner, like weak and sad, or genuine friendly, or sarcastic. Grin didn't break down into different types. Grins had special significance.
Further they usually happened around some interesting shift of scene or mood. Some excerpt examples from the Grin Only Dream Set.:

"...and know it would be wiser if I went over to the other deli to comparison shop. But I am tired and decide to just go with what's here. I feel bad about not checking it out. He says how much were you going to spend? I say maybe 200 dollars. He grins and says no problem I can do that. Maybe it will be 250 dollars. I know this is costing me more, but I don't check it out. I then go out into the hall, trying to find an elevator to get over to the next building without having to take the long way around. I can't find it. I stop into an office where a man and a woman are necking and flirting. I interrupt them and ask. They don't know where it is either. I am frustrated because this will make me even more tired."

In this example, the trickster slows me down long enough for me to encounter a flirting couple. Perhaps a suggestion of how I might better spend my time?

In another example:

:... D comes up to me with a silly grin on his face and I say what's with the Kirk Douglas grin? Then I look over next to him on his right and see the real Kirk Douglas. D. had met him in the grocery store and brought him home to meet us. Kirk is interested in me and is flirting..."

Again the grinning person is a person bigger than life and points me in the direction of love and fun.

Next example:
"...Now Paul Newman is going up to bat. I stand directly behind him so close our bodies are touching and I copy all his moves. "I'm playing baseball too" I say. He grins at me. Later, he's seated in the stands and I cuddle and I kiss with him..."

Well well. Do we have an interesting pattern going here?

Yet another example:
".... I must not give in. A young girl walks toward us innocently. I yell at her "Run, run and get father" If only I can resist until Father comes to save me. The man grins and waits for me..."

More examples:
".... I see a small 4 month old baby. I go over and pick it up and cuddle
it. An 8 year old girl sees me and says I don't mind if she's going to be with my daddy, but she doesn't have to pick up the baby without permission! I didn't hear her and I go to the man and say look at this cute baby. The man grins because its his baby. I say you can hold it. I hope it isn't afraid of you. I'll finish typing the letter and you hold the baby. He agrees. As I'm typing, or trying to, the girl comes up to her daddy and says "It's OK. I like her." He shushes her, embarrassed and I did hear this time and now realize what's going on. He suggests we finish at his house...."

And now for something a little different:
"...I get into a car. J S is driving. We are unsure where the fair is but
think it's to the right. J. suddenly grins and starts driving backwards up hill. I say oh, did you figure out where the fair is? The scene changes. We are in an outdoor scene but it is all enclosed in a sky-scraper kind of building. There is an ocean and I watch as the water is being sucked way, way out to sea. Now, there's trouble, because that means we're about to
experience a tidal wave..."

And here is a completely different example:

"...I plug a yellow round wire end into a tiny yellow hole, and the same with a black one and then I hesitate with the pink one and R says, yes, that's right, you've got it. I grin and say, I only watched it being done before. It's hard to remember how to do things unless you do them yourself. He agrees..."

Are the Grins in the Grin and Smile dream set the same or different?? Let's look.

".... A woman stands right in front of me and opens her dress completely like it was a robe. I stare at her naked fat body and then turn my eyes away. I am repulsed by her fatness. She is grinning at me. Then she has underwear on. She closes her dress and is inspecting all the things in the house. Some General is around and wants to know. I show her D's room. ..D smiles, not concerned."

".... I say to D , it looks like I'd better always wear a dress under this thing, after all, my boyfriend is disabled, but he's not blind. A group of young women burst out laughing at my amusing joke. I grin and stroll on..."

".... I walk in to see a couple on the floor almost starting to make love. They stop abruptly at my entrance. I smile and say just a moment. Sorry. I need to get some clothes. ...Now I leave the room, thinking I should probably take the one chest of drawers that is mine and its contents back up to where I was. I feel tired and decide not to. I don't need that stuff anyway. The couple is very glad I'm leaving but pretending to be polite. I say as I walk out the door. I'm not stupid, you know. They grin. (I think there were mentally retarded people upstairs I was working with)"

"... I smile and call out "Remember, you make the rules." My division" sees me and they call out happily, "Bjo, Bjo" I grin and wave."

".... You almost killed me. He smiles and shrugs. I say give me your name and insurance. He gives me a card. I say I'll bet this is the wrong phone number. He grins. I say I'll take your license number. It is RE 7-12. I memorize it and then walk toward school. As I near the door, I see him walking, whistling happily behind me. I say sarcastically, here, allow me and open the door for him. He shrugs and accepts. As we walk in, he says, you aren't ever going to forgive me, are you? He sounds upset like he doesn't understand why I'd hold a grudge on such a minor thing."

"...A pouch with a banana is handed to me. I get sexually excited, aggressively, powerfully so. I grin and pull 2 legs out of the pouch and the banana turns into a penis. I want it bad...."

"...Then I looked up and a large black lion was running toward me. I got a little scared. and lay down on the path on my back so the lion wouldn't see me and hurt me. He ran close to me and around me and I was very tense. Then there was a second one with a black head and checkered body. They finally left. I got up and ran some more. A girl went by and said, "When you want your replacement, just let them know. I grinned. I decided I was going to go to the finish..."

"...He teases me because he knows I want to marry this guy. I think, hum. It could be interesting if we married, like a challenge to get him to love me. I then tell D the car is his. He grins and gets into the driver's seat. We start going. I grab at Styrofoam cup with coffee, cigs, ashtray, etc. Put them in my lap. I am sitting on car seat that is sideways to the rest of the seats. Hot wax (pink) spills on my pants leg..."

These are dreams that span over 20 years. The use of the metaphor doesn't seem to change.Here are the dreams in full. Play with them. See what you come up with. Feel free to email me at dreambjo@hotmail.com with your comments.

Grin and Smile Dreams

9/13/98 Flying Dolphins, Cathedral Grapes
I am in a house. I think my brother D. lives there also. I notice it is raining very hard. I walk over to a window to see the downpour when I am suddenly aware of the courtyard and how beautiful it is. A canopy of grape vines like a cathedral ceiling. I look to see if there are grapes. Big nice ones, some so big they look like electric light bulbs. What abundance I had with me and I never noticed before. Then I look higher to see two transparent glass like dolphins leaping and arching over the top of this grape vine structure. They are so graceful and beautiful. I go back into the house. A woman stands right in front of me and opens her dress completely like it was a robe. I stare at her naked fat body and then turn my eyes away. I am repulsed by her fatness. She is grinning at me. Then she has underwear on. She closes her dress and is inspecting all the things in the house. Some General is around and wants to know. I show her D's room. I am uppity and joke around about being a spy. I don't like their attitudes. Now a young man is talking to D who is soaking in a pool. He explains he deliberately let the demons out to hunt D and he's really sorry. D smiles, not concerned.

9/24/96 He's disabled, not blind
I am walking around a sort of track and field shaped area. It's a store. I need to go pee and find a bath room. I sit and pee and pee, but can't get relief. I hear the loud sound of peeing and feel the pee going down my leg. I get up, a bit uncomfortable about all that urine all over my dress and in my moccasins. I walk on. I see a deli counter, sort of a Safeway Bakery. I find a bag of rolls or muffins and decide to get one. I read the ingredients to make sure there is no sugar in them. I continue strolling. As I walk, I nearly step on the end row boat of a string of them. It is a rowing team. J C, G's J is learning to row and is lying down on his back in the last boat (like it's a train of them) I smile and apologize for nearly stepping on him. I think I embarrassed him and feel bad about that. I choose a sweater to buy. I put it on and notice it is quite huge. Longer than my dress. I see DM and she has a sweater like it. It is pink knit, half sleeves, I notice I can see my dress underneath the sweater. D is telling me how she fought with the telephone company over a one thousand dollar bill and they agreed to remove 300 dollars of it. She was quite proud of that. I congratulate her. I say to D, it looks like I'd better always wear a dress under this thing, after all, my boyfriend is disabled, but he's not blind. A group of young women burst out laughing at my amusing joke. I grin and stroll on. I still have to pee so as I am walking I pee down my leg. I am a bit embarrassed about the urine smell and being in public. I sit at a café table and three men join me, I continue peeing, hoping they don't notice.

9/28/95 I want to change my clothes so I go. I want to change my clothes so I go down a series of flights of stairs to a room. where I had stored some clothes. I walk in to see a couple on the floor almost starting to make love. They stop abruptly at my entrance. I smile and say just a moment. Sorry. I need to get some clothes. They smile and say no problem, but of course I know they can't wait for me to leave so they can get on with it. I open drawer after drawer and can only find summery clothes from Mexico, gauzy material, bright colors, a bit revealing and sexy. I am aware I am too fat to wear them. I check the next chest of drawers and find them full of papers and Kodak film boxes. Nothing to wear, oh well. Now it is time to leave and at the last minute I decide to clean up some mess I've left. paper scraps, some tiny knitted or crocheted stocking hats, tiny yarn doll bodies and so on. Now I leave the room, thinking I should probably take the one chest of drawers that is mine and its contents back up to where I was. I feel tired and decide not to. I don't need that stuff anyway. The couple is very glad I'm leaving but pretending to be polite. I say as I walk out the door. I'm not stupid, you know. They grin. (I think there were mentally retarded people upstairs I was working with)

8/21/89 Remember You Make The Rules
I'm going out to meet my "division". Another group is waiting to go out. I pass them. They look uncertain and envious of me. I smile and call out "Remember, you make the rules." My division" sees me and they call out happily, "Bjo, Bjo" I grin and wave.

9/27/87 Hello goodbye
I see S. He smiles and comes over to me. I can see he is going to kiss me. I say no as he bends me over in a romantic dip. He smiles and kisses me anyway. It is pleasant. I pull away and say I have work to do. Now, go away. That was a good bye kiss. He grins and says if that's a goodbye kiss then I can't wait to say hello!

9/9/82 How come you're mad, cause I killed you?A famous woman like India's prime minister is walking down the street. She sees a car with a man in it and then a car with a woman in it. She has a premonition that the man will try to run over her and the woman will save her. As it starts to happen I am her. I see the car coming at me and I throw myself up against a wall in defeat because I'm trapped. Then I think oh how awful and turn around in the nick of time and leap straight up seconds before he hits me. I roll over the top of the car. I yell at him. You almost killed me. He smiles and shrugs. I say give me your name and insurance. He gives me a card. I say I'll bet this is the wrong phone number. He grins. I say I'll take your license number. It is RE 7-12. I memorize it and then walk toward school. As I near the door, I see him walking, whistling happily behind me. I say sarcastically, here, allow me and open the door for him. He shrugs and accepts. As we walk in, he says, you aren't ever going to forgive me, are you? He sounds upset like he doesn't understand why I'd hold a grudge on such a minor thing.

11/16/80 Freudian banana nightmare
Fear on bed, in bedroom, rising up the curtain like in an elevator, but I'm not. As I'm going down I get more fearful. There is a hole in the curtain and outside the hole is a cage, but my fear of it is like its a Nazi concentration camp. I scream because I'm going to be pushed out of the window into the cage. I push myself backwards. It was a weak push but I fall back hard, fall across the room, move furniture as I fall so I won't get hurt and land on floor at foot of bed. 2 children in the bedroom, a little boy and a little girl. A pouch with a banana is handed to me. I get sexually excited, aggressively, powerfully so. I grin and pull 2 legs out of the pouch and the banana turns into a penis. I want it bad. I kick the little girl out of the way. I place the penis in me and can feel it, real. I hold the man tight and the closer I get to orgasm, the fiercer I am. Then I see a "picture" of our faces. I'm smiling, really into it. He's smiling because it gives him joy to see me feel so good (fierce intense smiles). As I start to have orgasm, a little boy was screaming, "Daddy. Daddy, don't" 2 policemen came in. I can't talk. I try to but can't. Want to finish. Can hear the screams. Feels like a nightmare.

11/7/80 Running the race and winning
I was in a marathon road race. I was back in Mac, wearing a cute cheerleader outfit. My running partner was R, an old high school girl friend. I was exhilarated because I was in this race. I figured I wouldn't finish but at least I could do a segment and then someone else would finish for me. We ran through the paths on Linfield College campus. It was pretty, I was pretty and I didn't hurt. Other girls in the race were amazed at me that I could run. It felt good. We stopped at my old dorm for a drink of water. I looked in at my old room. A man was there. He came out for a chat. Then I remembered the race and we went on. I went on, feeling a little slowed up by R but not too annoyed because I enjoyed being where I was. Then I looked up and a large black lion was running toward me. I got a little scared. and lay down on the path on my back so the lion wouldn't see me and hurt me. He ran close to me and around me and I was very tense. Then there was a second one with a black head and checkered body. They finally left. I got up and ran some more. A girl went by and said, "When you want your replacement, just let them know. I grinned. I decided I was going to go to the finish. R was slowing me up. I was annoyed now and keep asking her to pick up her pace. I lengthen my strides. It's hard work now, but I do it. We get to the downtown section of Mac. We are near the finish. We then go through the old grade school. Can't find the door out. I think I know where it is, but it's gone now. So then we find it. Then I see a store. A man is there. He's the owner of it. I go on. At this point I'm lost. Can't find the finish. Get angry and anxious. See an information booth. They are having a bake sale. I ask a woman there for directions. She pulls out pamphlets and we talk. I feel time passing. She says, Ah, you need to go to Rose's place (a drug store cafe) So I say, "OK, R, Let's go. If you can't keep up, I'm going on without you. Now time and the race are more important than her or the enjoyment or the nostalgic surroundings. I run. Get almost to the finish. I run down a hall. Just before I turn left into a door, There's a bed. DB is there, in the bed, laying down and moaning. She's drunk and incoherent. I look at her and then go though the door. Turn right down a short hall. The other girls who have finished the race are there, resting, talking, one (S, I think) smiles. I say, "Where's the finish line?" She points back into the room at a silk cloth item with a Valentine's heart on it and pockets. "Touch that," she says. I do, I am weary and glad that I had finished the whole race.

Grin Only dreams
1/2/2000 C won't rehearse
I am preparing for a presentation. C is supposed to play a character in the presentation and Sh is supposed to get the food ready for the buffet. Both show up together, late. I am trying to explain to C that she needs to have her lines memorized. She doesn't want to do that. She wants to carry a sheet of paper with them written on it. I explain how that will not be professional and besides it will make the show not as good. She just doesn't want to do the work involved to do it right. Meanwhile I am trying to show Sh the map of buildings across the street where she needs to go to get the food for the buffet. It is Paul Muni's deli. She can't seem to get it. I walk with her and am still talking with C about how much better it would be if she'd rehearse. I find a deli counter and see Paul Reisner. I ask him where the other deli is and he says why bother, he has everything here. I try and ask him how much and know it would be wiser if I went over to the other deli to comparison shop. But I am tired and decide to just go with what's here. I feel bad about not checking it out. He says how much were you going to spend? I say maybe 200 dollars. He grins and says no problem I can do that. Maybe it will be 250 dollars. I know this is costing me more, but I don't check it out. I then go out into the hall, trying to find an elevator to get over to the next building without having to take the long way around. I can't find it. I stop into an office where a man and a woman are necking and flirting. I interrupt them and ask. They don't know where it is either. I am frustrated because this will make me even more tired.

9/20/96 R is helpful
R is seated at my computer and working on something to help me get things straightened out. I am at the back of the computer looking at the connections. Something needs to be plugged in again and he says he will do it for me and I say, "No, I need to learn to do it." I plug a yellow round wire end into a tiny yellow hole, and the same with a black one and then I hesitate with the pink one and R says, yes, that's right, you've got it. I grin and say, I only watched it being done before. It's hard to remember how to do things unless you do them yourself. He agrees. I then find my wheelchair which is sort of folded up like a manual. I struggle to unfold it myself. The back pack, or recharger is stuck and reaches over and unhooks it so I can continue.

4/16/95 I am at D2's house
I am in D2's house and it is dream group time. I see a woman standing with her back to me and I say "Hi, L" she turns and it isn't L. I feel embarrassed, especially since that might make D2 know I was thinking about him and L. D2 decides to go to the grocery store. Then an overweight man sits on the couch and I sit next to him and then SH comes and sits on my right. It's very cozy. I am explaining to them what we did at the last meeting that they had missed. I am telling them and then I ask for my notes.
D2 is back and he hands me my note pad. I open it and laugh realizing that I thought I'd written words but I had only drawn pictures to remind me. That's not going to help the people who weren't there. Then I pick up another note pad and see writing. I try to read it but I see I've only written a few words or phrases to remind me. One says "three strikes and you're out" then a space and then two words, "jerk" and another word. I say to the overweight man, I can't remember what this was about. D2 comes up to me with a silly grin on his face and I say what's with the Kirk Douglas grin? Then I look over next to him on his right and see the real Kirk Douglas. D2 had met him in the grocery store and brought him home to meet us. Kirk is interested in me and is flirting. D2 is a little jealous of that and of how I let those two men sit so close to me on the couch.

12/12/89 Sexy Baseball game
A baseball game is in progress. I'm in the stands watching. A guy has a box of balls, one has a pumpkin in it that weights it so he can cheat. He's very careful to protect it so no one will know. Then he decides to nonchalantly bounce it around (looks like a small basketball) but he drops it in a pile of other balls and a boy grabs it and runs off. I say "It was the redhead. I'll watch for him." Now Paul Newman is going up to bat. I stand directly behind him so close our bodies are touching and I copy all his moves. "I'm playing baseball too" I say. He grins at me. Later, he's seated in the stands and I cuddle and I kiss with him. I touch his lips and say "only my lipstick." He teases me by pretending he might kiss someone else and I possessively grab him and kiss him long and sweet to keep him to me. He's aroused and we lie down. I am stroking his very hairy arm which is down by his waist so that it's almost like his penis only furry from the amount of arm hairs. He does have a hard one and I feel good because I "have" him.

12/7/89 Resisting Sexual Desire
A man (like S) rubs a thick cream on my right thigh. As it soaks in, I am nearly overcome with sexual desire but I fight it valiantly. I must not give in. A young girl walks toward us innocently. I yell at her "Run, run and get father" If only I can resist until Father comes to save me. The man grins and waits for me.

9/11/89 Angel helps me connect with man
I'm in a church. 4 of us are the "elders" who take the wine sacraments to the congregation. We stand facing each other in a square and bow our heads so the minister can pray over us. As he does, a beautiful angel comes and puts its wing over my shoulder and whispers to me. It is telling me I'm going to have a good relationship with the guy opposite me, a nice quiet family man. I am, of course, quite shocked to be having an angel talking to me and can't concentrate on my job. The little wine glasses jiggle and tremble and I spill wine in the tray. He helps me clean it up. As we walk back up the aisle. He helps me carry the tray so we don't spill anymore. We go to the kitchen area and pour off the spilt wine in a cup. I suggest we take it to the vestry as it is blessed wine. Then we go to the handshaking line and its too late, everyone's gone through (we are supposed to stand with the minister and shake hands with the departing people) so he starts typing a letter. I see a small 4 month old baby. I go over and pick it up and cuddle it. An 8 year old girl sees me and says I don't mind if she's going to be with my daddy, but she doesn't have to pick up the baby without permission! I didn't hear her and I go to the man and say look at this cute baby. The man grins because its his baby. I say you can hold it. I hope it isn't afraid of you. I'll finish typing the letter and you hold the baby. He agrees. As I'm typing, or trying to, the girl comes up to her daddy and says "It's OK. I like her." He shushes her, embarrassed and I did hear this time and now realize what's going on. He suggests we finish at his house. As he's cooking a turkey and doesn't know how, maybe I could help?

9/23/87 Outside or Inside
Hello again! Dream cycle has started I go into a woman's house. She has large white onyx cat statues all over her house. One is glued to the drapes as though he is walking down the drapes, head first. I am amazed they can do that, it being so heavy. I see two cat statues curled up under a table, they are the same as the ones under my TV. She also has pretty red and ornate vases. The woman approaches me and asks angrily, "Why are you in my house?" I answer embarrassed that I was looking at garage sales and stopped to admire her lovely cats and vases. She coldly tells me that she's not having a garage sale. So, I leave, asking her if she knows the way to the county fair. She doesn't know. I get into a car. J S is driving. We are unsure where the fair is but think it's to the right. J suddenly grins and starts driving backwards up hill. I say oh, did you figure out where the fair is? The scene changes. We are in an outdoor scene but it is all enclosed in a sky-scraper kind of building. There is an ocean and I watch as the water is being sucked way, way out to sea. Now, there's trouble, because that means we're about to experience a tidal wave. I see it coming and run for high ground, scrambling over rocks. I then keep climbing up, sometimes rocks, sometimes stairs. I need to find the car, which I can't see, but know it's somewhere. I will it to be there and see a small toy car under a table. I then get in it, it's regular size now, I drive down the stairs looking for the first floor exit. I see windows and look out. I see large expanses of flooded land and a car driving down a road. I ask someone how to get there. They say why bother, you can't go far anyway because of the flooding.

2/25/80 Relationships not going well
Some heavy journey in a wilderness. Then a young girl in a white satin bride dress comes into my shop. Everything is white. She is snotty, doesn't like me. She then goes into next section of my shop, all white tablecloths, glasses, etc. She sits on red velvet. I think, how beautiful. I then go to get in my car that I have finally gotten from my brother. It's a blue and white '55 Chev with a continental kit. Good shape. It's punch hooked beautifully all over the outside. My brother is (both) are in enormous backseat. He is laughing and saying that the bride's brother doesn't want to marry me but his family will force him to. He teases me because he knows I want to marry this guy. I think, hum. It could be interesting if we married, like a challenge to get him to love me. I then tell D the car is his. He grins and gets into the driver's seat. We start going. I grab at Styrofoam cup with coffee, cigs, ashtray, etc. Put them in my lap. I am sitting on car seat that is sideways to the rest of the seats. Hot wax (pink) spills on my pants leg. D drives us to a turn out on a bridge that over looks the town of the main street.

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